Eurovision 2017 Song Ranking Part 7: Spoopy Skeletons

Can you believe that Eurovision is here already? The first day of rehearsals was today. In the interest of fairness I haven't read any feedback from the rehearsals, as some of my top 10 rehearsed today, but my top 10 has been pretty firmly ordered for the past few weeks. Do I hope that any of these songs win? Honestly no, but I hope they all do well.

10. Azerbaijan
Dihaj - "Skeletons"
Reaction: I might be the only native English speaker on the internet who doesn't have a problem with the lyrics. Partly because the singer's accent is heavy enough that the lyrics aren't always comprehensible, but partly because some of the lyrics go for sounds over meaning, almost in a poetic way. Unnatural grammar is much more irritating than unusual vocabulary choice, which is just that, a stylistic choice. Which is to say "surrounded by thorn jeans" is fine by me, especially when set to that melody and instrumentation. The dark, intense, and heavy synthpop is so good it nullifies any question about lyrics.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDHEX9JfNV4
Rating: 4/5

9. Croatia
Jacques Houdek - "My Friend"
Reaction: I feel like Lisa Ajax about this song. It starts off with an inspirational quote of disputed origin and turns into "For Life" meets "Let It Go" in a bilingual self-duet. It is a true guilty pleasure slice of cheese and I am living for it. Where else would this be but not for Eurovision. I am biased though and might not enjoy it as much if it was coming from, say, Malta. Jacques sings with an excellent English accent too. 
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sPeu04AdjU
Rating: 4/5

8. Netherlands
O'G3NE - "Lights and Shadows" 
Reaction: It's "Hold On" for 2017. The star is the tight harmony between the three vocalists. Even though the melody is uplifting, the lyrics are the most morbid in the contest since last year's winner. I actually take more issue with these lyrics than with Azerbaijan's for their grammatical choices ("strongly fight", "walk that road that everybody goes", "double feeling", even "lights and shadows."). Definitely an uncommon subject for an Eurovision song with a strong vocal performance to back it up.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xp-BfilyMfA
Rating: 4/5

7. Estonia
Laura & Koit Toome - "Verona"
Reaction: If Estonia had picked Kerli they would have been in my top 3, but here we are in Verona. This duet feels a little like "Don't You Want Me" meets"Goodbye to Yesterday" with a disco instrumentation to please any Eurovision fan. The pre-chorus ("we are lost/lost in the crowd of the street") is one of my favorite parts of any of the songs this year, and it would definitely be lower ranked without it.
Related Video: https://www.facebook.com/rafa.gumielmartinez/videos/10208883251300065/
Rating: 4/5

6. Sweden
Robin Bengtsson - "I Can't Go On" 
Reaction: It wouldn't be Eurovision if Sweden didn't have a slickly produced pop song that's an instant earworm, and this year they have one of the catchier songs. It's funkier than usual - especially in that bassline that is the star during the bridge and the last chorus. The lyric is definitely more thirsty than creepy so no issues there, with some sidestepping of profanity (the original lyric was fine). Also, the opening beat sounds a little like "I Wonder If I Take You Home".
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zTORiD5Dgg 
Rating: 4/5

Eurovision 2017 Song Ranking Part 6: One Name

Four out of these five performers all use mononyms. It's not too late for Slavko to go by just Slavko!

15. Greece
Demy - "This Is Love"
Reaction: This is a dance pop song, and it does it well. The pre-chorus is more captivating than the chorus, but the chorus should still bring a good party on stage. The only downside is the ending is a little too saccharine. I wish they'd kept the "rain falls from above" lyric, though.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xBx_1Oy3GY
Rating: 4/5

14. Montenegro
Slavko Kalezic - "Space"
Reaction: This is right out of the Alcazar playbook, it's ridiculous and I love it. Every interview has said there's a deep meaning to the lyrics and the song is about love, but it's clearly about this. The lyrics really are something , and very dirty for Eurovision. This is the fun disco we need in these trying times.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mctUcwdD24
Rating: 4/5

13. Iceland
Svala - "Paper"
Reaction: Of course this electro song is cold, it's coming from Iceland! It has a catchy chorus, 80's-influenced synth sound, and bases the lyrics around a unique metaphor.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDcvAdSlR7E
Rating: 4/5

12. Israel
IMRI - "I Feel Alive"
Reaction: This song feels oddly stiff and guarded even though the lyric is about vulnerability. IMRI sings "I'm a bit fragile" but sounds like he's trying hard to appear stoic? Despite the contradictions, it's a fun party song with a little ethnic touch - exactly what you need in Eurovision.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gA2Bup5AbFA It counts because he was there too.
Rating: 4/5

11. France
Alma - "Requiem"
Reaction: This song, video, whole act is the epitome of "French girl cool," which is super hot right now. Like last year this song blends an internationally appealing sound, French verses, and an English chorus, hopefully for mass appeal. The English chorus is more awkwardly placed and doesn't feel as natural as last year, but it makes up for it in allure.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7_YcoRAYl0
Rating: 4/5

Eurovision 2017 Song Ranking Part 5: Getting Messy

There's only 3 more of these left to do! It's hard to think and you can tell by the length of the reactions below, so happy Easter everyone.

20. Armenia
Artsvik - "Fly With Me"
Reaction: This is a very cool song with ethnic influences. It gets off to a slow start but this song is always dynamic and builds in intensity - a flight that goes some interesting places.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpekj4kJFeE
Rating: 3/5
 
19. Bulgaria
Kristian Kostov - "Beautiful Mess" 
Reaction: This is a fresh, modern ballad by a singer with a good voice. It doesn't connect with me as much as some other ballads but I can see it doing very well. The instrumentation in the chorus is especially emotional.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMN-M7Myxag This song is fire! I wish it was the entry! He's got a good career ahead of him.
Rating: 3/5

18. United Kingdom
Lucie Jones - "Never Give Up On You" 
Reaction: If this was the original version, a ballad with some simple piano instrumentation, it would have ranked a lot higher. It loses some of that theatricality in the move to a more atmospheric electronic instrumentation, but the beautiful melody still remains. This is by far the best UK entry since "I Can," and it might even be on par with that.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAnltozx4_8
Rating: 3/5

17. Switzerland
Timebelle - "Apollo"
Reaction: This has one of the most instantly catchy choruses in the contest this year, if not the most. It sounds and is very Swedish. It's a little too sterile feeling to rank higher, but it shines more live so it should be better at the contest.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nq7JOWaFyT8
Rating: 3/5

16. Norway
JOWST - "Grab the Moment"
Reaction: This is my biggest grower of the season - on first listen I had it in my bottom 10 but it kept beating the competition. The chorus is catchy in an almost droning way, but in the way lots of popular songs don't have a real hook anymore. The lyrics are some of the best of the year and a tough nut to crack - I can't tell if it's about dealing with anxiety or drugs ("pocket full of prose," hmm, but maybe that last one is overthinking it).
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izdMAyeM87s
Rating: 3/5

Eurovision 2017 Song Ranking Part 4: Return of the Memelords

The past eight days have seen three Eurovision preview concerts - it seems like there's more every year. All the fan news sites have interviews and previews that make you realize that the singer with a mediocre song actually has a fun personality, or the singer with the amazing song has no stage presence. As it gets closer to the live show, it's tempting to rethink one's personal ranking and compare with a projected final placing, but I think these are a solid set to round out my "final" and would probably place in the lower half of the scoreboard on May 13, if not barely miss out on appearing in the final.

25. Georgia
Tamara Gachechilazde - "Keep The Faith"
Reaction: It's been nine years since Georgia brought a peace song to the contest and I think this one is the better one. Like the previous one, it brings bitter pain and the hope for peace, except this time it's a power ballad. It's certainly the closest thing sonically to "Rise Like A Phoenix" in this year's contest.  
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiz8rKInGf8
Rating: 3/5

24. Hungary
Papai Joci - "Origo"
Reaction: It's always so good to hear "ethnic" dance songs in Eurovision, an annual peek into a culture whose music isn't in the typical international rotation. This song's chorus sounds like it would fit in a party anywhere in the world. It's especially nice to hear non-English rap, too.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEiMpNebnj0
Rating: 3/5

23. Ireland
Brendan Murray - "Dying To Try"
Reaction: This kid has the voice of an angel (with an endearing Irish accent) and this ballad is the perfect venue to show it off. Itstarts off slow but is constantly changing, building intensity until its final choruses with a backing choir.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kx7TqAwUkco I feel the same way Brendan!
Rating: 3/5

22. Serbia
Tijana Bogićević - "In Too Deep"
Reaction: This suffers from Hannah syndrome, named after Slovenia 2013. It's a slickly produced electronic pop song, and there's nothing really wrong with it, but there's also nothing really special and memorable about it - it's almost anonymous. It's pleasant to listen to for those three minutes but doesn't stick after.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ds1OeDkpLm4
Rating: 3/5

21. Moldova
Sunstroke Project - "Hey Mamma"
Reaction: Moldova's music output is most known for two internet memes, one of which had one third perform later in Eurovision, and the other was this group's last appearance on the Eurovision stage. For all its popularity, it's unthinkable that "Run Away" finished in the bottom half of the scoreboard. It's a meme for a reason - that sax part is fire. Seven year's later, Sunstroke Project is still ready to party, no matter what your mom says, sax in hand although less epic. Their sound is more chill than last time, but that's how popular music has gone too.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iE37CNkoOOU
Rating: 3/5

Eurovision 2017 Song Ranking Part 3: Do You Believe in Gravity?

Can you believe it's already April? Back in late February it seemed like this year's group of songs was really terrible but I've entered into that usual state where everything has warmed on me out of repetition and it's really tough to make decisions. Of course, like every year post-contest I'll only be listening to my top few songs plus whatever stood out live, so the agony spent will have been for nothing.

As a side note, when trying to find related videos for this group of songs one of them sent me to an actually completely unrelated skit from a Russian cosplay masquerade, and naturally I looked at the rest of the channel to see what is popular now. One recent skit used their country's Eurovision entry from last year - can you guess what anime it was for?

30. Denmark
Anja - "Where I Am" 
Reaction: At first listen this is aggressively bland, in typical Danish entry style. The performer has a good voice but a voice with more imperfections, maybe breathier, might have been better and have more feeling. The verses are definitely better than the chorus.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1ibv9-YnW4
Rating: 3/5

29. Cyprus
Hovig - "Gravity"
Reaction: The clunking instrumental has a nice heaviness to it, appropriate to the title. It's not a complicated melody but would be a good karaoke song if your party can stay awake. I was wrong about the otehr "Gravity" in 2013 but I think I got this one right.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iO26hkBLDkM please someone do a mashup
Rating: 3/5

28. Ukraine
O. Torvald - "Time"
Reaction: Is it going to be a trend that Ukraine sends rock songs in years they host? This is better than their song from 2005, but they could have been contemporaries. It's nice to hear rock again this year. It has a nice guitar riff and drum pattern. The message is good too, with a genuine emotion and yearning behind it, even if it uses the most tired phrase "time to shine." 
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVY-CWt5fOM the harder more shocking semi performance
Rating: 3/5

27. Belarus
Navi - "Historyja majho zyccia"
Reaction: This is fun, peppy, and energetic. Navi seem like they are genuinely having fun and want to share it with you, it's very endearing. The folk touches are nice and it's good to finally hear Belarussian in the contest.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwZDf4O2U7I
Rating: 3/5

26. Latvia
Triana Park - "Line"
Reaction: Latvia has a streak of cool electronic songs running since 2015 and its a refreshing new identity for them in the contest. This isn't as catchy or deep as their previous two entries, and is a little too repetitive. It makes for a good background track rather than a showstopper.
Related Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grimq5fDnwo
Rating: 3/5