Eurovision Ranking 2010 Begins!

After a short end-of-selection-season hiatus I’m back for my fifth (!) annual Eurovision rankings. I’m starting a lot later than the past few years (this time in 2007 I was doing songs 21-25 out of 42) because there’s only 39 songs this year and the contest is later than usual. It was difficult to pick a bottom four this year, as there aren’t really any “novelty” entries that would usually occupy those spots on principle. Instead of violent revulsion there’s just boredom and disappointment.

39. Slovenia
Ansambel Roka Žlindre & Kalamari - Narodnozabavni rock
Reaction: This year Slovenia gets the honor of the bottom spot on my ranking, not because it’s done something to offend me but because I always have a soft spot for Slovenia’s entries and this one just disappointed me. Instead of sounding like a structured song, it sounds like a rock band and a polka band wandered onto the same stage and started jamming. It feels like it could go on forever the same way until one or both parties got bored.
Best Part: I can’t get past “Naj bo, naj bo, naj booooo” without skipping to the next song
Rating: 1/5

38. Belgium
Tom Dice - Me and my guitar
Reaction: It’s not an awful song really, but it’s the type of song I don’t normally listen to unless the melody is particularly interesting or the lyrics are particularly clever, neither of which are features of this song. The lyrics are both too authentic in a gooey emotional way and inauthentic (it’s about getting one’s big break, but the song is performed on TV so he’s obviously already gotten his). The music is unmemorable, and there are much more memorable acoustic guitar ballads in this contest.
Best Part: Rhyming “fall” with “falls”
Rating: 1/5

37. United Kingdom
Josh - That sounds good to me
Reaction: The final version hasn’t been released yet, so I really shouldn’t write on it, but it’s already April and I can’t wait much longer. The live version of this is really disappointing because it’s written by a songwriting team with so many good songs under their belt, but this one is just so mediocre that it’s bad. For a song about having a good time the whole song is unenthusiastic and the rhythm of “Just add your laughter/it’s happy ever after” is annoying. I really hope this gets a revamping for the better and that I’ll regret putting this song in this spot come May.
Best Part: Instrumental opening
Rating: 1/5

36. Malta
Thea Garrett - My Dream
Reaction: I liked this song when I first heard it, but that was in comparison to the poor selection of songs from Malta. In comparison to the other songs chosen this year, it barely rates. It’s a sweet ballad with synthesized strings that is just too mediocre compared to other mediocre ballads. It’s pleasant and well sung but that’s not good enough. Malta needs to step it up in future years. If Chiara can’t save a mediocre ballad, then how can a newcomer who is no Chiara do it?
Best part: Last chorus
Rating: 1/5

Next Sunday I'll do songs 31-35, but this week I'll write a little more on this set of songs, time permitting. The rankings are pretty negative now but it can only get more positive as it continues.