Canções De Nada

I'm back for the next installment of rating the ESC songs. My list is kind of like the US News college rankings: the top ones are all very good and #20 can still be just as good as #1 (in fact, my #20 is currently very hot in the betting) and you shouldn't be worried if I put your favorite in a low position. I can find something to like about most of the songs. Except these five I'm discussing today.

35. Switzerland
six4all - "If We All Give A Little"
Reaction: This song is very boring and painful to make it through. And that's just the music - the lyrics are sappy. However, it's destined to get a lot of points because the group was put together for this contest and has members from six European countries. Smart move, Switzerland. Luckily this song is first in the final so hopefully most people will have forgotten it.
Best Part: "There's so much we gotta do/to overcome the bitter blue" What's a bitter blue?
Rating: 1/5

34. Bulgaria
Mariana Popova - "Let Me Cry"
Reaction: The verses are boring and slow, and the singing in the chorus is painful. There's just a lot of loud boring noises in the background and it makes me head hurt.
Best Part: The "honey honey, please let me cry" in the background
Rating: 1/5

33. Belarus
Polina Smoyova - "Mama"
Reaction:This is the only time I will make fun of a singer's accent, so here goes: it's hard to tell that this song is in English. It's pretty mediocre, but at least the chorus is kind of catchy. It gets old easily, though.
Best Part: "The guys before him were a sort of junk food"
Rating: 2/5

32. Portugal
Non-Stop - "Coisas De Nada"
Reaction: No, this isn't Bosnia & Herzegovina's song from last year. At least that one was fun to dance to and had two key changes. It tries to recreate the fun of that one but it just kind of plods along.
Best Part: "I'm gonna make you dance/Make it with style!"
Rating: 2/5

31. Monaco
Severine Ferrer - "La coco-dance"
Reaction: It's a nice summer song to dance to - about dancing in the summer. It was really hard for me to put this song this low because it serves its purpose well, but I just can't get into it and I wouldn't dance to it.
Best Part: "Eho, coco dance, é upa upa aroha"
Rating: 2/5

Had fun? Agree? Angry? Well just wait until next week where I'll discuss songs 26-30 and I'll really get you clapping in agreement/mad and sending death threats!