The Fourth-To-Final Countdown

Here is the next installment of The Greatest Songs of the '80s as determined by the "experts" at VH1.

80. Rob Base - "It Takes Two"
Their Take: “it was the bomb”
My Take: As I said, I’m not a rap person, but it’s a nice inoffensive party song.

79. Human League - "Don’t You Want Me"
Their Take: “battle of the sexes synth jam”
My Take: I used to dislike this song, but now I really like it, especially the pre-chorus.

78. Blondie - " Call Me"
Their Take: “they sort of created new wave disco”
My Take: A very catchy and great song. You can’t help dancing to it unless you hate fun or are paralyzed.

77. New Edition - "Candy Girl"
Their Take: “one of the greatest groups of all time” Really?
My Take: Like NKOTB, a boy band that is very of its time but not of another. The voices are too high for me.

76. Thomas Dolby - "She Blinded Me With Science"
Their Take: “…Kevin Federline, who sampled ‘She Blinded Me With Science’ without permission”
My Take: It’s not my favorite, but I can’t hate a good nerdy novelty song.

75. Prince - "Little Red Corvette"
Their Take: “funky in every sense of the word”
My Take: As I said in the last installment, I’m not a Prince fan, but this is probably my favorite Prince song (if I had to pick one) because I could dance to it.

74. George Michael - "Faith"
Their Take: “a lot of butt in the video”
My Take On The Cover: I wish I could forget Limp Bizkit, but unfortunately we can’t forget the frightening past that Fred Durst made music and people bought it. The original is really great.

73. Nena - "99 Luftballons"
Their Take: “hairy armpits”
My Take: The catchiest song about war around until “Take Me Out”

72. The Fixx - "One Thing Leads To Another"
Their Take: “gets played at every Flashback Friday”
My Take: Never heard this song.

71. Rick James - "Super Freak"
Their Take: “serious funky tribute to some seriously funky ladies” Seriously, the announcer has said “funky” for every other song already.
My Take: He manages to be very manly in the video despite being covered in glitter.

70. Joan Jett - "I Love Rock'n'Roll"
Their Take: “she had attitude”
My Take on the Cover: Second song in the countdown that Britney has covered, and probably the last because her other covers are of older songs. Of course, the best cover of this song is the parody “I Love Rocky Road” because…I really love ice cream.

69. REM - "It’s The End of the World As We Know It"
Their Take: “rushing torrent of words”
My Take: You can sing very fast! Good for you!

68. Public Enemy - "Fight The Power"
Their Take: “you wanted to dance to it and you wanted to think to it”
My Take:I know this is an important song, but I have never actually heard it before.

67. REO Speedwagon - "Keep On Loving You"
Their Take: “kings of sensitive guy rock”
My Take: Above quote explains why I don’t like it.

66. Depeche Mode - "Just Can’t Get Enough"
Their Take: “there was nothing cooler at a time”
My Take: I really like this song, but I hope that this ranking leads to some Yazoo or Erasure higher up the list (probably not).

65. Foreigner - "I Want To Know What Love Is"
Their Take: “slow jam”
My Take: What? This is not a “slow jam”, it’s a “power ballad”. Get your casual music terms right, VH1. This is a very wimpy sounding song, even wimpier than that song with the line about cutting wrists and blacking eyes. It’s the chorus at the end.

64. Paula Abdul - "Straight Up"
Their Take: “…had star written all over her”
My Take: It’s a catchy song, but I don’t know why she is a judge on American Idol, because from this song I feel that she has a very generic voice.

63. Devo - "Whip It"
Their Take: “scary and confusing”
My Take: I don’t really like this song, but I admire their video concept, and it is a fun song to play in Donkey Konga.

62. Berlin - "Take My Breath Away"
Their Take: “had a sort of romantic feel to it”
My Take On The Cover: I don’t like this song, and actually prefer the Jessica Simpson cover to the original.

61. Styx - "Mr. Roboto"
Their Take: “techno epic”
My Take: First of all, it is about a robot, which makes it great. Second, it is featured in the first episode of the live action version of “Densha Otoko” which I have thought about watching but have not had the time. Third, “modern man?” You have to be pretty cool to get away with mispronouncing words on purpose.
My Ranking: Top 30


I looked at VH1’s site and the have listed the 10 songs that didn’t make it, which includes “The Final Countdown”. How did that not make it? The synth line is amazing and is is both hair metal and tolerable, making it an oddity.

Tomorrow is Halloween, and I'll be too busy to watch, but sometime this week I should have the next 3 installments.