Another Makeover

Haven't you heard? Barbie and Ken are getting back together after two years apart, during which Barbie dated a new doll named Blaine. The drama doesn't actually mean anything - it's just publicity to reattract buyers Mattel lost to the Bratz hos (you know they are!), but the story of Ken's heartbreak is hilarious:

"A makeover, set to be unveiled today at a news conference in Manhattan, that finds him sporting a more rugged jaw line, wearing cargo pants and listening to Norah Jones."

"Ken, heartbroken, traveled the world in search of himself, making stops in Europe and the Middle East, dabbling in Buddhism and Catholicism, teaching himself to cook and slowly weaning himself off a beach bum life."

"Gone are Ken's outdated swimming trunks and dull T-shirts. Ken's new wardrobe will include cargo pants, a fitted suit with peak lapels and a motorcycle jacket. A facial resculpting, as Mattel calls it — Ken's first in more than a decade — will give him a more defined nose and a softer mouth. 'It's Matthew McConaughey meets Orlando Bloom,' Mr. Bloch said in an interview."



Mattel just made Ken the quintessential metrosexual - about 3 years too late. Not that there's a problem with that, but as a marketing decision it's not fresh. And you know that "dabbling in Buddhism and Catholicism" will anger the fundie Christian families and group who seem to hold some buying power.

Seriously, Norah Jones? Yawn.
Emo Ken would be less lame.