No Joker

Happy Easter! It's time for the next five songs in my Eurovision ranking for 2012.

35. Germany
Roman Lob - “Standing Still”
Reaction: A boring contemporary pop ballad similar to other songs that ended up near the bottom of my rankings (Denmark 2009 and Belgium 2010), which probably means it will do quite well. Very fake singer-songwriter earnestness. It wishes it was “Running Scared” or at least a grittier version (it even has the “Verb-ing adverb” title), but doesn’t even come close.
Best Part:
Rating: 2/5

34. Estonia
Ott Lepland - “Kuula”
Reaction: A very slow and boring piano ballad. At least it makes me think of King of Fighters. Then again, so does Ireland and their song is better. As with Spain, the vocal performance is too good for an underwhelming song.
Best Part: Bridge
Rating: 2/5

33. Georgia
Anri Jokhadze - “I’m A Joker”
Reaction: Musical theater meets disco meets rhyming dictionary. This song goes all over the place, never excelling in any part. It is kind of amusing though.
Best Part: Introduction is actually in Georgian
Rating: 2/5

32. Montenegro
Rambo Amadeus - “Euro Neuro”
Reaction: This isn’t much of a song, and it isn’t very listenable. At least it owns it! The lyrics are very “reading the rhyming dictionary” but with more of a message behind it than the other song this year that does that. The chorus is kind of catchy. It’s admirable what it’s doing, but it drags on way too long too.
Best Part: Chorus
Rating: 2/5

31. Portugal
Filipa Sousa - “Vida minha”
Reaction: The worst Balkan ballad in a surprisingly large field of Balkan ballads doesn’t even come from a Balkan country (though one of the songwriters does). It has the same songwriters as “Senhora do mar” and is a little reminiscent of it, but doesn’t come close to capturing its power.
Best Part: Last chorus
Rating: 2/5